It isn’t that the second year is harder than the first, it is just much harder than you expect it to be. The secondary losses begin to dominate your thoughts, and additionally in my case, there is also the stress of trying to sell the house. A process not easy at the best of times let alone after a devastating loss and in a challenging house market.

Another challenge which caught me unawares last week was the sudden realisation that I can no longer say he died last year. It’s probably seems a small thing but it is one that catches my breath, and somehow emphasises how much the world has moved on from my grief. No wonder sitting down to write a blog post hasn’t even been part of my thinking. However I have missed you all, so I thought I’d sit down today to write a line or to, plus share a few photographs from recent walks and adventures. First let’s start with a few memories of Scotland which is where I left you when I last shared a blog post.

It was a glorious ten days catching up with friends, family and enjoying the delights of the Edinburgh art scene. I didn’t have much time on my return, before I was off again. This time to London to remember Robert at a regimental event, and a few days later my eye was caught once more about the autumnal colours of 2023. 2023 may have been a soggy year, but there were occasional moments when the skies were blue.

Over Christmas I spent time in the town which I hope will become my new home this year. It was mostly a positive trip, and I’ve already connected with some local community groups, and plan to make more connections as soon as I move. I might not know what the new me is going to want to do in the future, but I do know that continuing daily walks alongside creating a new local community around me will be a priority.

I am probably going to go quiet again for the next few months as it looks like I may have finally sold my house, so fingers crossed I will soon be juggling all that comes with moving house and house hunting in a new area. Once that is all done though, I plan to make a gradual return to the blogging sphere, or perhaps, given the number of squared shots in this post, I might throw myself in with a month of squares!

52 thoughts

  1. It really is so lovely to be reading your blogs again. It definitely seems to get harder after the first year but you will get through. Look forward to reading more soon.

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  2. Lovely to hear from you again Becky, sorry for late response but going through my emails from my blog which I should check more regularly. I hope all goes well with your move and look forward to some squares soon 🙂

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  3. It’s so nice to read from you again and to read that you are doing things and making plans for the future. You need a lot of strength for what lies ahead of you and I hope you can find it, actually from the little bit I know of you via your blog I’m pretty sure you will do so. We are here and will welcome you back with open arms if I may be so bold as to speak for the squaring community. If it is too presumptuous, then it’s just for me. As always: Take care of yourself!

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  4. I am overwhelmed at the idea of moving, much less actually doing it. Time does fly. I’m sometimes shocked at how long ago my mother died and now, since my first husband pass was 30 years ago. It doesn’t seem that long. I hope you have found a buyer and I hope you are able to make the arrangements you need with the least possible stress. You sure haven’t lost your ability to take amazing pictures!

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  5. I am glad to read you have sold the house and that you can look forward to what’s ahead but not taking anything away from the grief and remembrances of your life with your dear husband. Sending my best wishes from Australia! Denyse

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    1. Thanks Anabel, I have everything crossed too. The buyers are keen so just hoping nothing scary was discovered in yesterday’s survey. I’ll find out next week I guess

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  7. I have just read your post, last year to me is also the hard year too, but I do hope this will be better soon. But with the positive thinking, I think most of the worst will be better. Good luck

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  9. Your new area looks like it has plenty of lovely walks Becky. I hope all goes smoothly with the house sale and the move, and I wish you well for the coming year.

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  10. Grief is always with us, and it doesn’t have a timeline date but can hit whenever and wherever. Good on you for doing Scotland, seeing a new town, and looking forward. Fingers crossed your house sold and you will decide to do a month of squares.

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  11. Great to hear from you again Becky, and good luck with the house sale. It’s a crazy process at the best of times, and when the market’s uncertain, all bets are off. Squares would be fun, but all in good time.

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  12. I hope everything falls nicely into place for you in 2024, Becky. The area you’ve chosen for your new home looks lovely and I’m sure you will be welcomed. In the meantime, best wishes and we’ll all be here when you’re ready to post again. Sending love from the other side of the world to you.

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    1. you were right WP had hidden you in spam, you were not alone though Graham from Hawaii was there too! Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding

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  13. Hugs all around from down here, Becky. It is always lovely to hear from you – always – and here’s to 2024 being kinder to you with a new home and new community. And happy house hunting! What a lovely place to live! It looks picture-book-perfect 🥰

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  15. Great to see your post Becky. Moving houses is a big leap, good luck on that and for settling in with your new community. Hope to join with squaring up once you’re ready.

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  16. What a joy to see a post from you again, Becky, and to know that you’re making your way through the grief and difficulties with grace and hope! My parents passed away almost two years ago now, so I understand not being able to say they died last year. That doesn’t equate with a husband passing away, but just that part is the same. I hope your house sale goes smoothly and that you find just the right place for your next home. Smart of you to start making connections now, even though you don’t know where they’ll lead. Don’t forget us, though, your connections in the blogosphere. We can’t be there on person, but we’re still here for you as much as possible. 🥰😘❤️😍

    Loved the photos too.

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  17. Dealing with grief is a tough one and moving house is never easy. Anyhow our lost love(s) would want us to live the best life we can. Best wishes S

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  18. Good to read your post, Becky. Full of hope and new challenges. Walking is such a good healer. I think resilience is the word for 2024. I look forward to your return. Kia kaha.

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  19. So glad you’re dipping a toe in the blogging water again, with a promise of more to come eventually. I’m keeping everything crossed for the house sale. With that accomplished, I hope other things may fall into place, and you’ll finally be able to start writing a new chapter, in which your memories of Robert will always hold a special place. Sending hugs and positive thoughts.

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  20. Hi, again! Nice to hear from you, and hear what all you’ve been doing. Hope the house situation goes great in selling/moving to a new one. Take care. ❤

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  22. Lovely to hear from you again Becky, you sound quite positive about what must be a scary future. I wish you well with the moving, always stressful and more so when alone, though I am sure you will have support from friends and family. Sending an armful of hugs and hope for this year being the start of something good. 🤗

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    1. thank you so much Jude. When I am there, I feel so positive. It is a lovely part of the world, and the people I have met so far have all been so lovely. When I am back here in Winchester it does all feel much more scary and daunting, but that’s okay too. Just the way it is. Hope you are okay, think of you lots xx

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  23. I think a look through the comments will show you how many people you held together with your squares and not so squares, Becky. Selling the darn house is key and will let you move forward into a real future. Scary, I know, without Robert, but he had every confidence in you and the time must eventually come. Good luck with it all, sweetheart. It sounds like a good choice and I can’t wait to see the post about moving day. Sending hugs. Just shout if I can help in any way 🩷🩷

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  26. It’s so nice to hear from you and to know that you are still handling your grief with such relative positivity and resilience. Good luck with the move and with settling into your new home town. When you’re ready to blog again it will be great to hear how it goes and maybe even to join you in squaring again one day (again, when you’re ready). Till then, look after yourself 🤗

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